Smokers Corner
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Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Nasty, Rotten, Cigar Killing Creatures!No, this has nothing to do with the lying political class discussed in the last post. Some parallels can be made with the topic of today, but I’ll let you make those connections.It’s April 21 in northeast Wisconsin and we have an inch of snow on the ground. The threat of a late snow chased me down to Ft. Myers two weeks ago for a brief reprieve. I should have stayed longer. Hindsight is always 20/20. As I was packing to escape the nine months of winter here in Wisconsin, there were only a couple items of necessity: good reading material and good cigars. Everything else I could buy or borrow upon arrival. Let’s see, gone for ten days, two sticks a day, twenty cigars…no, make that 25. The book, Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. The book is about a bunch of government parasites known as the “looters” who seek to consume the hard-earned wealth of the “producers”. The “looters” zero in on their prizes and begin to munch away at the bounty of the productive class. I know, a preposterous premise for a novel. Strolling the sunny beaches of Sanibel Island on day one could not have been better. What’s there not to like about 80 degrees and sunny skies, especially when Green Bay is being hit with their eighty-sixth snow storm of the winter! Day two was much of the same with the addition of a few single barrel beverages courtesy of my host. On day three, after a wonderful breakfast of eggs, grits, smoked ham, and fresh picked fruit, I decided to light up early. I opened up my travel humidor and selected my smoke. Something was wrong. I saw a white dot on the side of the cigar I had selected, and inside the wrapper. I thought it moved. I touched it, it slithered away. Huh? Holes in my cigar? How did some worm get into my stash? I understand the worm wanting a free meal at my expense, but where did it come from? Were the rest of my cigars infected with these little “looters”? Off to the computer to do some research. Tobacco Beetles! Pernicious munching critters attacking my investment in leisure time. I spent ten bucks for that cigar and didn’t appreciate the idea of puffing smoldering worm goo. So, what’s the skinny on these intrusive creatures? Seems I am not alone in my experience. I searched the web for “cigar beetles” and got 299,000 results. Typed in “tobacco beetles” and got 1,250,000 results in .25 seconds. Now I was really curious. I’ve been smoking cigars for a decade and never seen one of these bugs. Why now. Cigar Aficionado says a cigar beetle “eats like a pig, breeds like a bunny, lives fast and dies young. It worships tobacco and heat. It's cosmopolitan. It's Lasioderma serricorne, better known as the tobacco beetle, and it loves nothing more than to hatch in your humidor and feast on your cigars.” Apparently a scourge to manufacturers worldwide, these bugs can gobble up a sizable investment in the warehouse or your humidor. So what to do about them? Buy from a reputable source. This cigar was picked up on a recommendation from friend. Brand and store to remain nameless. Tobacconists of care will freeze any at-risk stock entering their store. This kills any eggs that may have found their way onto rolled leaf and puts an instant end to the looters of tobacco leaf. So what about my current stock at home? Same remedy works well. Put the cigars into an airtight zip-lock bag and freeze them for a few days. Then to the fridge for a few days, then back to the humidor. Problem solved, minus the previously munched cigars. Interested in knowing more, do a quick search like I did. There’s a lot out there. And pick up a copy of Atlas Shrugged. It was written in the 1950’s and rings true today. The parallels are ominous. Thursday, April 2, 2009 More Taxes!Now at your local tobacconist:MORE TAXES!!!!! To be more precise there is a new Federal cigar tax being levied on all cigars. Relax, it’s only a 900% increase. 40.29 cents per stick is now what you will need to pay to enjoy your lifestyle. And that’s just the Fed’s confiscation; the states are piling on as well. New tobacco taxes by state can be found here: http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/Tobacco_Tax_bill09.htm Of course, if it’s for a “good” cause, S-CHIP, who could argue? For those of you not privy to this latest expansive government giveaway, S-CHIP is free healthcare for “needy children”. “Children”, by the way now defined by the new administration as up to 30-year-olds still living at home. What, 30, still at home?! Get your ass out of my house and get a job! What’s the cost to “insure” a child through this US Government freebee? A cool $4,600 per kid. I’m a small business owner and I pay $5,500/year for a family of seven. Must be some program the Feds are offering. But the lawmakers are unconcerned about the cost, because YOU are picking up the tab. Come to think of it, why should I be paying that much for someone else’s kids when I cannot afford to do so for my own? The new administration is into punishing the productive element of society and begrudging us producers a portion of our leisure pursuit. But, Look on the bright side, we have all arrived financially. Yes, it’s true. Congratulations to all of us who are partakers in the dark blue hue of fine cigar smoke. Remember, President Barak Obama emphatically stated that “no one making less than $250,000 a year will pay more taxes if [Barak is] elected!” So, my hat’s off to all of you. I think I’ll go and light up to celebrate my newfound financial freedom. Sarcasm aside, how much taxation is too much taxation? When does the spending stop? Do we really need to be providing healthcare, or anything, to the willfully unproductive? Next thing they will do is tell us what kind of cars we can drive and how much income we are allowed to earn. Those hardest hit by this tax will no doubt be those rolling cigars in Florida and the small business operator trying to make a go of it. The targeting of smokers, at some point, should get old. The problem is we are no longer outraged by the targeting of small minorities. When someone gets steamrolled by government, part of the population now cheers with glee, the other part sits quietly and watches. What happened to individual liberty? Where did American’s belief in limited self government go? When did success become unappealing? When did the symbols of success become so distasteful that ever increasing punitive taxes are encouraged by some and accepted by most? For those of you not asking “Who is John Galt?” you soon will be. Oh, and don’t think this is going to be the last of the cigar tax increases. “But this bill is only a first step. The way I see it, providing coverage to 11 million children through (S)CHIP is a down payment on my commitment to cover every single American.” President Barak Obama, February 4, 2009 I’m not thinking this is the “Hope & Change” the masses expected. Barak and his congressional buddies originally wanted a $3.00/cigar tax levied. The 900% tax increase on your cigar is only a down payment on Barak’s commitments. Labels: cigar tax |
